Twin - I am feeling really insecure about this and I know it's really stupid but I was wondering if you had any advice for me. I am a girl, I'm bi (not relevant) and I want to get a pixie cut. There is a part of me that has always wanted to have short hair and feel androgynous. I don't have the most feminine of faces, I guess. But after being told so many times that this will make me "unattractive", I feel super insecure and worried. Any help?
The cool thing about hair is that is grown back. I’ve had some awful haircuts over the years. I’d had ones that people have told me would look good on me (and were wrong) and people who told me it would look bad on me (who were right). I guess my point is two pronged here: a) haircuts only last a few months anyway, they’re short term investments and b) you can’t really know how something will look on someone until you see it. There’s the added point here that everyone’s concept of what looks good or bad is theirs and entirely subjective.
If it’s something you want to do, go for it! If it turns out it was a horrible mistake then no big deal, wear a hat for a little while ;D If if turns out to be a look you like then YAY! You’ve got a haircut you like for a while and can decide whether you want to keep that going or try something new :)
Since you're going to NOLA (3 hrs away from my home town) I'd like to recommend a restaurant to go eat at for dinner. It's called Nacho Mama and it's a great Mexican place. There's also a nice Japanese sushi bar called Rock N' Sake that you might like. Xox Lisa
AWESOME! Thanks so much for the dining suggestions, Lisa :) I really want to make it to the Nacho Mama place, sounds delicious :3
Hello all! So MechaCon is coming up fast (ACTUALLY IT’S THIS WEEK AND I’M PEEING) and we just got everything 100% planned out for the con so here’s our pre-con update! A quick reminder that we’re inviting anyone cospalying Free! to come do a photoshoot/hangout with us on Friday at 1pm by the pool. Of course if you’re not cosplaying Free! you are absolutely welcome to come as that’s where we’ll be hanging out for a while and we want to get to spend as much time with folks as we can!!!
Friday: Haruka (Free!) Saturday: Prince Endymion (Sailor Moon) Sunday: Marshall Lee (Adventure Time)
1pm (the Hotel Pool)- Meetup with us at the pool to hang out!!! :3 9pm (Main Events Room- 1st Floor)- Red Carpet Affair: Moonlight Rendezvous
10am (Panel Room 3- 1st Floor)- Cosplay Wigs 12pm (Panel Room 1- 1st Floor)- Dealing With Cosplay Hate and Drama 3pm (Main Events Room- 1st Floor)- Cosplay Contest (we will be judging!)
We’re really looking forward to meeting everyone!!! 8D I absolutely can’t wait!!! If you see us walking, sitting, hanging around please come say hello and have a chat with us, photos, hugs, WE’RE UP FOR WHATEVER (except maybe duelling on your behalf… I mean maybe if I can size up the other guy and weigh my chances of beating him but…)
Also we’ll have our Cosplay Cards on us! Would love to trade them with people and give them out to people who’d like one :)
So okay, biologically I am a female. My family all still call my by my birth name with she/her pronouns. My friends all call me by my preferred name with they/them pronouns because I do bind/dress masculine and refer to myself as "boy". A friend asked if I would rather use he/him pronouns and I could not answer correctly. I HATE having a feminine body. But I don't know whether I couldn't answer because I was scared of what that meant or if maybe I am just very genderqueer? Can you help?
I feel like through our language we tend to put gender identities in a hierarchy. I hear the phrase “is that a transguy or JUST a butch lesbian” a lot, and likewise the phrase “Are they trans or JUST gender variant”. I’m sure the people making these statements don’t mean it that way but what this does is position “butch lesbian” and “gender variant” as identities that are “not all the way “there”” or somehow less than being trans.
It’s OK to not know. It’s OK to try something out and it’s also ok to use gender neutral pronouns and identify as masculine. Using “they” doesn’t make you any less the gender you identify with. What I mean by that is that using they doesn’t mean you identify more with femininity. After all a person using “he” may also identify as femme so gender really is a “a la carte” situation XD
Being genderqueer is a rock solid gender identity, and a genderqueer person can choose to use whatever pronouns he/she/they desire.
When you say “correct” keep in mind that there is no “correct”. You have to trust yourself here and go with what feels right. if that changes, so too can your answer. And if you decided down the road that the pronouns you started using doesn’t fit you can change it back/change it again no problem. :)
Hi, i'm thinking about cosplaying as Zuko, and i found that you had cosplayed him too. It looked great, and this might be a stupid question, but which fabric did you use for your cosplay? I am new to cosplaying and i honestly know nothing about fabric
Hi there! Thanks so much for the compliment on my Zuko :) I used twill for the vest and the undershirt/pants were suiting fabric I believe. The gold was double-sided broadcloth (meaning I used two layers instead of one).
For fabric it’s generally good to go with more matte (not shiny) fabric, stiffer fabric (like twill) for jackets, vests and anything that will need to maintain a but of a shape. Suiting, cotton etc. are good for baggies things (things that needn’t maintain a shape). Lycra,spandex and other stretch fabrics are for anything that need to be form filling. Vinyl and faux leathers are good for anything that us supposed to be leather, armour, boots etc. that’s a really basic rundown but I hope this helps you! Best of luck making Zuko!!
(Part 1) Hi Twin! Pretty soon I'll be taking a trip with my family to the US by car from Canada. I'm a trans male and I've been on hormones long enough that it may raise questions when crossing the border, as I don't have my passport or any other identification changed yet. I'm wondering if you have any tips when going through customs?
(Part 2) I’ve got a physician’s note saying that I am a trans male and I’ll be bringing hormones and needles for my medical treatment, but I’m more concerned about my safety and them questioning me about my transition rather than the medication etc. I’m bringing. This is my first time crossing the border like this. Any tips you have will be greatly appreciated, and hopefully this can help others in similar situations. Thank you! :)
Having crossed into multiple countries over the past few years with identity documents that don’t match my gender presentation I have never run into any issues. I carry a letter just in case, but I’ve never had to use it.
Essentially, with that letter, you’re pretty set. If your Passport doesn’t have a recent photo of you (meaning that you look really different in it) it might also be worthwhile to get a secondary piece of ID with an updated photo.
Chances are it won’t even come up. If you are driving the driver will do the talking for the car and hand over the documents. The border guard then usually goes through them one by one and glances into the back seats to match the photo on the ID with the face. The guard may ask who “name on your Passport” is at which point you’ll answer but again even if this happens it likely won’t move beyond that point. If it does then that’s the time for the letter and a concise explanation that you may want to prepare in your head beforehand such as: “I am a transgender person and have been undergoing medical treatment but have not yet been able to change my documents.” It’s helpful to include “transgender person” in there just because that may be a more familiar term to many folks rather than FTM or transmale.
But just to reiterate, from experience, it most likely will not come up :)
I wanna do Lloyd's wig from tales of Symphonia but I don't even know what kind of wig to buy! Should It be long for the spikes or should it medium, and once I do get a wig where do I start to sculpt the wig!
Hello! You will want a wig that is vertically wefted. Take a look at Arda-Wigs “Jareth” wig, this is the type of wig you are looking for :). Styling the wig will involve first trimming the wig with thinning scissors (especially at the back). You will then want to use Got 2 B Freezing Spray and spray into the wig while shaping it loosely into the shape you want with your hands. Once you have a basic shape use a paddle brush a d brush out the wig. Back comb part of the wig that aren’t conforming to the shape you want to make it easier to work with. Next brush the wig out again and in sections (beginning with the front/top) spray and sculpt with the palm of our hand. Where appropriate twist the tips to form spikes. Continue through the wig until it looks the way you want. For the front of Lloyd be aware that you may have to brush back and backcomb the front of the wig to get re bangs to stand up! Best of luck :)
I honestly haven't said this to anybody, but I hate that I'm a female. In all honesty I think I was born the wrong gender. I've once told my mom I'd rather be a guy, and she flipped.. How do I manage to persuade her? Or at least tell her.. I'm so confused.xx
Hello Anon. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s reaction. It’s terrible to divulge something important to someone only to be shot down or chastised. It is important to remember that a parent’s first reaction is usually their worst, and that it often improves from there over time. And time is a real key here.
Unfortunately there is no cure-all you can perform here, your mom will have to navigate her own process and part of that is habituation which takes exposure over time. Her process will likely be recognizing that a) this is not something that will change through negative reactions from here b) this will not negatively effect your life and c) this will not negatively effect her life. Hearing that your “daughter” is your son can be very startling and often people jump to conclusions and imagine sudden and dramatic changes. In reality change is gradual and something that folks adjust to naturally. Seeing really is believing here, and as you adjust to your gender identity she will as well.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Find supportive networks (LGBTQ youth groups, GSAs etc.). Express your gender however you wish to. You can choose to either come our to your mother again (this time perhaps try doing so with a mediator (counsellor, therapist, youth worker etc.) involved or try writing her a letter. Or you can choose not to do this.
It may not seem like it now but parents can change. I know a guy who got kicked out when he came out to his dad and just 2 years ago he got married and his dad was at his wedding calling him his son and fully supportive. My own parents reacted pretty poorly, but 5 years later my mom now calls me “he” and Lucas. I can’t promise that your mom will come around, but do allow this some time to breathe. Leave it on the back-burner, do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, and revisit the issue a little further down the road.
Hey, I was wondering if you mind being drawn? I have a thing with drawing things I like and lately I especially like you so I was hoping it's okay if I do a portrait of you some time? I mean, I could just do it w/o you knowing but that feels weird ><
hi lucas! i just saw that you're coming to mechacon in louisiana and its hard to believe it... you were my first big cosplay inspiration waaaay back when i was 11-12 and now i'm 17. i really hope i get to meet you! your transition has also been inspiring to me; watching your videos helped me realize i was trans as well. this is long and rambling but i hope i get to meet you at mechacon!!!
Hello! Aw man thank you so much!!! I’m so honoured to hear that the stuff I hoped has helped you along in cosplay and in terms of gender stuff too! Awesome! Can’t wait to come to Louisiana and can’t wait to meet you! I KNOW we will get to meet at some point over the weekend :) See you there! ;D ONLY ONE WEEK AWWAY!!
I think I'm pregnant but it's like a super slim chance but I started showing like implantation signs. I know how my body is when it is like period cramps and all that jazz but this time I dunno. I'm just really freaking out because I'm only 17. I could just be over reacting and just psyching myself out but there is a possibility. Slim..but possibility...help twin. I know this isn't like ftm or anything but I'm just really freaking out.
Hello Anon. First off I want you to know that you are not at all a bad person, if you are pregnant you have options and no one can make decisions about your body except you. I suggest calling your local Planned Parenthood (or like-organization) and ask to speak to someone. They usually have hotlines you can call for support and having someone non-judgemental can be important. If you feel like you can trust this info with someone close to you I would suggest talking to them too if you are ok with that. It can be a world of help to just be able to talk through and process what you are going through.
Somehow you always end up doing the cosplays I was planning as well and then I see you be a so much better cosplayer than me and I get discouraged and give up on most cosplays. This happened with jack frost, koujaku, haru, and now hiccup. Youre literally better at everything! I'm jealous..
Cosplay is subjective, and furthermore we are our own worst critics. The reason I re-do and tweak my cosplays so much is because I am constantly seeing cosplays that I view as wayyyy better than mine and so I take inspiration from what those cosplayers did and apply them to my own cosplays. We perpetually learn and borrow ideas and techniques from each other and gradually we learn and grow as cosplayers :). I am not better than you. I’m sure there is tons I can learn from you and your cosplays just like there might be something you admire in my work and can use in your cosplays. Please don’t let it discourage you, because after all cosplay isn’t about who’s best since there is no “best”. There will always be someone better, and more than that there will always be a difference of opinion on which cosplay is better.
Please do the cosplays you want to do, chances are we can both learn from each other and I’d love the chance to admire your work :)
Hello Lucas! I'm an 15 year old FTM, and go by another name than my given from birth one. I go by that name and present myself with it to strangers, do you think that is too early? My mom does not like the idea of me doing that yet, even though I would prefer people calling me by my male name (John). I'm starting a new school this autumn too, and I've decided to just tell them right away that I'd prefer to be called John.
Hello John :)
Whatever you feel makes your comfortable is what I’d suggest you go with. If going by John is comfortable, then go for it! Even if you decide that it’s not for you by no means is a name an irreversible thing.
It would be good to be aware of your school’s policy on trans* students, preferred names (such as exchange students going by an alias or “English name” at school). You can either take it up directly with the school admin, or you can choose to speak to all of your teachers individually (or both!). In my LGBTQ FAQ I have a sample letter that may be of use to you.
It would be good to talk to your mom more on the subject, but keep in mind that you do not need consent from her in order to change your preferred name at school. School boards that do have a transgender and gender diversity policy (such as the Vancouver School Board) have clauses that refer to the right that students have for confidentiality of their gender identity within schools due to the threat of parental hostility. If your school does not know what to do, I would suggest referring them to this policy as a guide on what other school boards have successfully implemented :)
Lucas! I know you've gotten a lot of messages and still probably do - but I wanted to thank you so much for your wonderful advice to me a few months ago. I was the anon who was terrified (absolutely terrified) of top surgery and going under. Well, I had it *this morning* with an amazing surgeon (Meltzer) and couldn't appreciate your kind words more as well as a few other anons who added to your advice. Hope you're doing well this summer! I couldn't be more thankful for your response. :)!!
My pleasure, Anon, and I’m so happy to hear that all went well for you! Congrats and I wish you a speedy recovery (hopefully in time to enjoy the summer sun ;D)
hey I'm planning super early for one of my bigger cosplays and the only thing stumping me aside from the wig is the weapon, I'm trying to make kuwabaras spirit sword from yu yu hakusho which I would prefer it to light up but I'm not really sure how to even start with that, is there a tutorial you can point me to about how to make something like that? I was thinking about resin casting but I've never done that before so I'm not sure
Hello there :)
I’ve never attempted anything like that before either, so I’m afraid I don’t know any resources. I’m sorry :( I would suggest Googling “cosplay sword tutorial” “kuwabara sword tutorial” etc.
Howdy! :) I was wonderin how you did your Jack Frost cosplay hoodie? I hope y'all are doin good! :) I love yall!! :) <3
I used watered down white acrylic paint and essentially just jabbed a hoddie with a thick-bristled brush that I held at the centre with my thumb to “fan it out”. After that dried I went in and dry-brushed with acrylic (you will want to wipe it off a few times on a paper towel before painting to avoid it coming on too strong/thick!.
I finished it off with a dusting of silver spray paint ;)