oh, goodness, you should have come to dinner with us! we had this fantastic flamboyantly gay waiter and he was just the best. we had so much fun. but then again, sleep sounds wonderful, too
That was weird dream night for me too, so I should have come. My dream was reminiscent of the Where the Wild Things Are movie… sooooo really fucked up and excessively detrimental to childhood nostalgia.
Hey. I was wondering if a person who wants to use the T shots, but doesn't want to stick it in themselves can still go to the nurse for the shots till they find someone to do it.
I'm deathly afraid of needles, and I rather have a professional do it then having to do it myself during my freak outs...
If you don't know, that's cool. I'll keep searching online.
Yup, you can go to a clinic to get your shot done. I felt the same as you did initially, but after a while I got used to it and felt that I wanted to save myself the trouble of bussing downtown to my clinic on “shot day”.
Contrary to popular belief, T stops your growth (it closes your growth platelets, so you will not grow taller on T). There are some cases where guys to get taller, but this is considered medical fluke growth spurt OR the result of exercise (increased exercise thickens the muscle in your spine, making you taller).
I did grow taller post-T. I was 5’7” and now I am 5’8” or 5’9” (everyone who measures me gives me a different height between the two).
I'm not sure if your description of being bigender is entirely accurate. First of all by using the phrase "both genders" you imply that there are only two genders, which is not true (third gender, genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, etc. Even bigender itself!). I'm not going to throw the word "binaryist" at you because I'm sure it was just an accidental slip-up and not an intentional erasure.
Secondly, I can't speak for all bigender people (and I'm not bigender myself) but I do know of a couple who feel that they have two genders, male and female, and others who feel they have a different combination of two genders (for example, female and agender).
Also, from my understanding, unlike genderfluid people, bigender people don't typically feel like they are anywhere in between their two genders, but rather they just switch between them (like a typical light switch instead of a dimmer switch). So at any given time, they are either one of their two genders or the other one.
I hope if I'm mistaken in any of this that someone will correct me! Thanks.
Does cologne help me bend in better as a guy, or should I just go with natural scent? If you wear cologne, what kind do you wear?
Cologne is pretty helpful in my opinion, if not for outward passing for personal confidence. I have a few (Nova gets them for me, seeing as she works in cosmetics XD): CK Free, Dolce and Gabbana and two others that I’ve forgotten the brand of.
Hi, I have a few questions to ask. I haven't started T yet, but I was wondering, where do you take the shot on the body? And do you go to a regular doctor to get the testosterone or do you have to go to a specialist? -Adrian
I used to take my shots in my butt cheeks. I think it’s the easiest place to take it but it’s very hard for a lot of people to do that shot themselves. After I stopped going to a nurse for my shot and started doing my own shot I switched to injecting in my thigh.
It depends. Some GP’s are qualified, but some people need to go to an endocrinologist (hormone specialist) after they have had their assessment done by a therapist. I got my assessment done by a doctor (not my GP/family doctor) who specializes in transgender patient care.
I'm not trying to be rude at all, but do you ever feel the need to push that you're a boy? Like, if you're describing yourself to someone you never met are you going to say "Hey, I'm a boy from Vancouver." Or anything else along those lines?
At first I did, but now I don’t feel the need to. I pass as male, I sound male, my name is a strictly male name. I feel that my gender is assumed now without me having to include it in an introduction/biography.
I do, however, get a lot of happiness out of being able to check the “male” box on forms. I have yet to change my legal documents, so I look forward to being bale to do that on legal documents in the future.
how often do you have to 'maintain' wigs? (specifically very spikey ones) because my axel & black*star wigs are starting to droop, and i'm terrified of 'fixing' them. I'm afraid i might hurt them XD
I play it by ear. If a wig looks like it needs some maintenance, i fix it up. Sometimes you can just spray it and re-form the spikes back together. However more often than not you’ll need to brush out the tips and re-do the spike. Brushed, dry, “light” hair forms together better than rigid glue/spray covered hair.
I have a friend at school who wears a cloak. People make fun of her for it, but I think it's cool. She's not very close to me, but I feel irritated when people make jokes about it. I think it's just her way of expressing herself. She knows her limits, however. She wears office wear when applying for jobs and whatnot. How do you deal with people like that, who just make fun of another person because their choice of wear? Do you ever encounter people (strangers) who know you were not born male and tell you off for it?
I actually don’t know many people who will do this in person. Sometimes online and anonymously, but my general rule of thumb is that if an opinion isn’t accountable to someone then it’s a void opinion.
Could you explain the concept of being bi-gendered to me? ._____.
Every time I look it up I get so.. confused.. x_o
Sure thing. Bi-gender is a term that refers to people who feel that they are two genders or a combination of two genders. A person who is bi-gender feels both male and female (for example, the genders in question do not have to be male and female) either simultaneously or at different points in time (ex: feeling male in some situations/on some days and female in other situations/on other days).
If you stay On T for about a year could you switch to the patch or gel and still have the same effects? Or would anything change in particular?
Yes, however patch and gel are a fair bit more expensive than injections so the amount you’re spending on hormones would change. The changes they cause are the same, gel and patch just don’t work as rapidly.
I'm the girl who asked you about my best friend not supporting the LGBT community and stuff, and how I was bi but she didn't know. I came out to her tonight, and she said that it's okay and that she knew God would help her understand. I'm so happy right now. Thank you Lucas, without you I wouldn't have told her :) thank you thank you thank you.
I’m so happy that things worked out for you Anon. And I’m very proud of you and your friend!
Do you have any advice about over protective parents? I'm not even sure about my gender at all. I hate even identifying as male or female. But, even if I did consider getting anything done, even like a simple haircut, my parents would disapprove. What should I do? Should I wait until I move away? I really want to be myself but I'm scared of disappointing the whole family. Also, my girlfriend likes me the way I am.
Ps. By the way, you make Justin Bieber tolerable in my eyes.
The parental situation is really tough, it’s hard to not “disappoint” your family without sacrificing your own desires/wants and needs. However you have to remember that you have a right to live your life freely. They may have a preset plan for your life, but what they have to recognize is that you are not a clone, you are an individual. Your DNA is a hybrid of theirs, not a copy.
It may be worthwhile to tell them what you want to do. Get your hair cut short, for example. If this makes you feel more comfortable, if you think it’s stylish etc. then explain that to them. It doesn’t have to be gender based at all. There are lots of girls with short hair and lots of boys with long hair after all! And hair does grow back, so if you try it and it doesn’t work for you, then it’s not like you’ve made a terrible decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Exploration and experimentation is how people build their identities. After all, life is just a game of guess and check. There’s no formula or equation to solve here, you just whip out your calculator and plug in numbers until something fits.
Hey, I was shown to your videos on youtube by a friend because I am planning to get a female-to-male surgery and I had a few questions....
First, how much did it cost to get everything done (like from top to bottom)? And secondly, do you like.... take the surgeries first and then the testo--testos... I can't spell it for my life but the shots that man your voice all deep and stuff? xD
I haven’t had bottom surgery, but generally it is quoted at being around $10 000. Top surgery is normally around $7000. Hysterectomy can range between $7000-$20000, but it can (in many cases) be covered by insurance. A hysto is my next surgery, and I will be getting it covered by my health insurance.
You can have surgery before or after starting on testosterone.
Hello! So, my best friend identifies as a male (but only with me, he's still very shy) and he doesn't want to go any further than simply identifying as male. I want to show him that he is the manliest man that there ever was in my eyes, I want to prove to him that I don't see him any other way, so my question is, how can I make him feel more comfortable in his gender and truly make him feel like he is pure man in my eyes? What are things that either you do or people do to ensure you with yourself?
There are a number of things you can do to help someone’s comfort in their gender identity, and good on you for providing this support for your friend!:
- Use pronouns and his male name whenever possible. Even if you may not use his name often, try to consciously start using these things on a regular basis. For example, when calling him up instead of: “Hey! It’s (your name), how’re you doing?” try “Hey (his name)! It’s (your name) how’re you doing?” Or something akin to that.
- Gender situations. Just little things such as at a resteraunt commenting that he’s ”growing boy” as to why he ordered a hamburger or is extra hungry. This also extends to not changing in front of him.
- Essentially don’t make a distinction between him and any of your other male friends.
do. not. stop. posting. pictures.
we love them!!!
sure we may feel a bit .. funny, about our bodies i mean. but i think you pictures give ftms hope. its like, something to look forward to when we get into tretment and get ops ourselves.
also, your pictures are looking good! and you scairly suit beiber hair...
anyway... hope everything is going well for you!! :D xx
I won’t stop posting pics, no worries! I;m just going to be a little more conscious of what I’m posting and how often I’m posting now. I’ve gotten a few messages along the lines of this one, so it’s good to know that some transguys find my photos positive rather than dysphoria inducing.
Because you view yourself as conceited and vain, do you look down upon others? Do you think you're snotty towards other people?
I don’t look down on others. I apply the term conceited to myself in terms of how I view myself, not how I view others. That’s the funny thing about language. One word can have so many different connotations XD
I believe that everyone has the right to be treated with respect, so I try my best to make good on this (especially in lieu of the asshole I used to be, I have A LOT to make up for).
Yes, I do think I am conceited. I know that I am a vain person, I’m very concerned and preoccupied with my appearance. I’m not sure that I’m egotistical in that I don’t think very highly of myself. I view myself as mediocre, but I am confident and satisfied with myself, so perhaps that’s a form of egotism.
I’m not sure that there are many people who post themselves on the internet that could claim that they aren’t at least a little conceited though. You kind of have to be driven by some sort of pride in order to want to broadcast yourself.
I'm in tears right now, I don't know who to go to. I think you're the only one who I can go to for advice
So I'm really really attached to my best friend. Very dependent on her. I treat her like my big sister.
She is not a bit supportive of the LGBT community.
And I haven't told her.
I've only came out to one of my friends, who's bi too. (thank you, without you I
wouldn't have told her.)
My parents wouldn't understand. They're not supportive either.
But I just told my best friend, the non-supportive one, I wanted to reach out (in a Christian way) to the LGBT community. this was the closest I've came to coming out to her.
She basically told me she thought they should be reached but not like I wanted. I feel like I need to do this (I know you're not Christian but please bear with me). Ive always been "yes sissy". But I told her that I wasn't going to talk with her about it.
I didn't want to here her crap about her stance on the LGBT community.
She's like this all the time. You're my hero and she knows it. She is very VERY rude about you. She refers to you with female pronouns and talks about you as if you're still female.
I just don't know what to do. Please answer if you can, I need advice more than anything. I can't lose her as my best friend but I also can't put up with her behavior anymore.
(Id put my name up but my friends might find this.)
It sounds like you’re at a point in which you’ve stood up to your friend and made your opinion clear, which is good. The issue here is that you can’t change someone’s fundamental beliefs, you can only compromise or ignore the issue all together.
If you tell her, you will be facing her with LGBTQ as a reality as opposed to an abstract other. This might cause her to think more thouroughly about what it is exactly that she’s opposed to. However, I can’t say that you don’t stand a risk of losing her as a friend. So you should ask yourself this:
Is it better to remain friends with someone you have to hide from and who is knowingly rude about things your care about or to lose someone you are very close with.
If you approach her about this, tell her about your sexuality and about your beliefs on sexuality and LGBTQ issues. Don’t just use a term. Explain it to her fully how you feel and your side of things. You can only attempt to open up a dialogue, and if she doesn’t want to deal with that dialogue then it’s her loss.
I wish you the best, and I hope that you don’t have to shed more tears over this. I have many Christian friends who don’t agree with homosexuality/transsexuality who have accepted me as a person despite disagreeing with some aspects of my life. They just want me to be happy. Maybe your friend will be able to come around in a similar way. If you ever need to talk, drop me a line :)
Hi, I know that your proud of your body and that your really happy that you have finally completed your transition, but my dashboard is constantly flooded with pictures of you.
I have been a follower of you for a while now and I respect you transition and support you 100%. However, you have constantly been taking pictures of yourself, either just coming out of a shower, after working out, or other. For post-op pics I understand the pictures, but otherwise, you showing off your transformed body in 20 pics a day is making the rest of us very dysphoric. If you could just post up less pics of you everyday that would make a lot of us feel better.
I support you and wish you the best of luck. Thank you for the advice.
Thank you fort letting me know, I totally understand where you’re coming from.
I don’t post 20 pics a day, I think it’s safe to say that that was an exaggeration for effect? So I’m wondering, how many is too many? And is it just the shirtless ones that you’re referring to? Please message me back if you can.
Other people’s opinions on this are welcome as well!
Did you ever get to the point on hormones where you were impatient for things to start happening and feeling like you'll never pass? I'm a bit over two months on T and while the changes are satisfying to me, I'm still not passing more than occasionally. Really gets a guy down..you know? If you've felt this way, how did you combat it?
Changes happen differently for everyone. My changes happened VERY gradually. I didn’t notice anything sudden, and I would say it was only in my 6th month that it really dawned on me that my voice had REALLY changed and that I was passing most if not all of the time. By 9 months on T, looking back, I could see how dramatically I had changed and I was passing 100% of the time at that point.
You may not notice many changes, since you see and hear yourself everyday, but I understand your impatience. For many guys (myself included), two months is not enough time to have experience any significant changes that would help you noticeably pass more. So just keep in mind that T is one big waiting game XD
And do not compare yourself to other guys! I know at first I looked at guys whose voices dropped dramatically within weeks and i began to get worried that “that would never happen for me”. And of course, i know now that my worries were all for not XD