I never was a girl. I don’t miss being female-bodied, but I miss things that happened while I was in that state of being. I miss being in high school and not having to worry about money/University/job applications/bills/food/medical maintenance etc.
I also miss not feeling loads of guilt while being around my parents.
OH! And I miss playing hockey, cause as stressful as that was it was so much fun.
I have a question about the term transvestite. It's a derogatory term for transsexual individuals right? Well the other I heard someone calling someone else a transvestite and so I stuck up for that person, but they both seemed to be confused as to how it was offensive.
Transvestite doesn’t mean what many people thing it means. It refers to someone who is cross-dressing, not a transsexual. “Vestige” refers to clothing, and “trans” can be boiled down to “switch” or “transcend”. Essentially what the word means is to wear the opposite gender’s clothing OR to wear clothing that is outside of one’s alignment.
It’s the way the term has been used that can be offensive. It is often used as a slur against trans people (to suggest that they aren’t passing) and is is has also been branded with the same “freakshow” sense that many other transgender terms have been subject to.
So it’s not that the word is bad, it’s that the context in which the word is used is often bad.
Words have meaning only in CONTEXT, so that’s what you have to really watch for. Take queer, for example. I used to be a derogatory term for gays because of the way in which is was employed (aka it’s social context). That has since changed, and because the context of the word “queer” has changed so too has the meaning. You can still use it derogatorily, mind you.
I was wondering what your opinion of the use of Gender neutral terms such as Mx, ze, sie, hir, co, ey? I try and get my friends to use them for me, though some of them don't get it.
They can be very hard to learn, repetition, practice and patience are important. I’ve seen people use plural pronouns as a substitute with a lot of success (their, they’re, they) because they’re already in use in everyday language. So if the gender neutral pronouns just aren’t sticking that might be a good alternative.
I really hope this doesn't set off triggers, I just want to understand. Never ever would I call a transgender person by their biological gender if they want to switch/are switching/have switched. I understand why it would hurt their feelings. But then why are so many transgendered people alright with being referred to as trans? What is the difference between "You used to be a girl/boy" and "Hello you're being open about switching". Sorry if I sound undereducated about the subject.
For me, it depends on the circumstance. First off, I view my transsexualism as a medical issue and transition as a medical process. For me, being trans is like having a chronic condition. When referring specifically to my medical history or experiences associated with that history/my transition, I will refer to myself as trans in order to clarify what I’m talking about, or the condition I’m talking about (the condition being transsexualism). I usually only do this among friends who know or on the internet where I am open about my process in the hopes that I might help others.
However, I strongly do not identify as trans. So I really dislike it when someone refers to me as trans when the context is not appropriate or necessary.
Some people do identify as trans. It think the difference is a perception of gender and a multitude of other factors. But as someone who does mind being referred to as trans, I may not be the best person to clarify this.
As an after thought: I feel my discomfort with the term “transman” or referring to myself as trans growing. At Banzaicon the topic did slightly come up in a panel and I referred to it as my “medical issues” only. So that seems to be the way my personal relationship with the word is going.
If there has been, what would you say is the worst thing to happen to yours and Nova's relationship? And the best?
Worst would be the multiple times we broke up. For one year (or so) of our relationship things were just shit. This is because of a whole slew of things, but given the chance I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any different because it really solidified the fact that we were meant for each other.
Best? Moving in together. We had our doubts about it (and so did others) but it’s worked out just fine so far XD It’s wonderful to be around her and build a life together with her :) I think living together is the real test in a relationship. It’s harder than you might think to live with someone XD
Woah. Wait. What? What about chopping your finger off? ._.
I was cutting Nova’s Sora wig and kolibri came in the room and asked me something. I turned to her while continuing to cut. I wasn’t looking so I cut straight through my finger. I watched the tip fly away, and then looked at my finger which was squirting blood and missing it’s top XD Ran to the bathroom and quickly went into shock (darkening vision, numbmess, coldness etc.). After that kolibri and I walked to the clinic (more like she half carried me there as I nearly passed out at least 4 times).
I am a big giant wuss. In the end it was no big deal. It wasn’t that much off the top of my finger, and it mostly grew back though to this day I’m still missing a bit of feeling on the finger and it’s still a little bitt “flatter” than the rest of them XD
What is the weirdest/most revolting/most disturbing thing you have read in a fanfiction?
I don’t read fanfiction. It’s not that I haven’t read good ones, it’s just that I don’t really like reading (WEIRD RIGHT!?). I’m REALLY picky about what i read. if it’s good I get really into it and will read pages and paragraphs over and over and savour it. But it it doesn’t captivate me I’m liable to put it down XD
There was one fanfic I accidentally stumbled across when i was in grade 4 searching for Pokemon stuff on the Internet. The story seemed to be about Gyarados raping… well… pretty much everyone.
Chopping my finger off while wig styling because of the knowledge that we never did find the tip of my finger at Kenshiro and kolibri’s house.
or my first con. The experience of walking around and seeing everyone dressed up was surreal. I still like to do that at cons, just walk around and take in the colours, the costumes and the amazing work that people do in this hobby :)
Is sex difficult for you now that you've transitioned? Or is it easier?
It’s easier in that I understand the sensations and feelings I have and why they are how they are and in the areas that they are. Because i understand this, I can simulate an experience for my phantom limb, but I can never fully experience it which is always frustrating. Thankfully I have an endlessly respectful partner, so that helps in terms of never really having to fear that my dysphoria might be triggered by my partner.
Top surgery helped loads. And when I get bottom surgery (and I say when because I hard some REALLY hopeful news on that today ;) ) I’m sure that that will help immensely.
All in all I think it’s easier, but the frustration of having no release but having the sensation in my lower area does boil over from time to time.
Hard to explain while trying to stay as PG13 as possible XD
Today I got shoved into the wall again and threatened by some people who call themselves Christians. They told me that I should stop being a lesbian. When I told them that it wasn't a choice one of them kneed me in the stomach and let me fall to the ground. The second "Christian" put his boot under my face and lifted my head and told me I was going to hell.
Those weren’t Christians, those were assailants in direct violation of the core doctrine of every major religion in existence. The bottom line of religion is that it’s a social conscience. Do good to others, not bad. Most religious organizations that understand their own religion do good: charity, helping the impoverished, helping the sick etc. And then others completely miss the mark. But that’s always been the case and we see the same bigoted arguments used again and again through history. These arguments against homosexuality mirrors the ones used to support racism, slavery, genocide and sexism.
I’m sorry that happened to you. It shouldn’t happen to anyone.
Hey Twin, I told my dad that I was bi a couple days ago. I also told him about my depression and cutting. He took it a lot better than I thought he would, and I was really relieved but he's going to talk to my mom and sister about it. I felt better after telling my dad, but at the same time I feel like I'm a freak because of my sexuality. My entire family is straight and extremely religious, so they probably won't take it well.. Any advice? :/
You never know how people will react based on their religion, sexuality etc. More often than not people can and will surprise you. My parents are very liberal and not religious. When i came out to them they both reacted badly and have really struggled to overcome that. I expected a decent outcome, and what I got was a very uncomfortable one… I was very disappointed by that.
Also keep in mind that time is a huge factor. They might not like it at first, and it might confuse them, but over time people habituate. I mean, look at Nova’s parents! For a while they didn’t really want me around. And now I get invited to all the family functions and her mom even offered to drive me to my post-op appointments XD
Wait and see how they react. If your dad is already on your side then chances are, even if your mom or sis has an issue, it can be worked out in a civil way :)
Hi Twinfools. When you were at Banzaicon, my friend asked you for a video message for me (I'm the Emma that it was for.). When you said you were going to sign your Syoran prop for me, I started to cry. For real. And I just want to say thank you for signing something like that. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Hey Emma! You’re very welcome!!! It was the least I could do :) There’s a secret about that prop ;) all of the writing on the bottom of it actually spells out japanese insults XD I couldn’t read the kanji on the original talismans so I just copied stuff out of Nova’s book “Outrageous Japanese Phrases” XD