Vancouver guy. Cosplayer. Runner and adventurer.
Hello Anon. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom’s reaction. It’s terrible to divulge something important to someone only to be shot down or chastised. It is important to remember that a parent’s first reaction is usually their worst, and that it often improves from there over time. And time is a real key here.
Unfortunately there is no cure-all you can perform here, your mom will have to navigate her own process and part of that is habituation which takes exposure over time. Her process will likely be recognizing that a) this is not something that will change through negative reactions from here b) this will not negatively effect your life and c) this will not negatively effect her life. Hearing that your “daughter” is your son can be very startling and often people jump to conclusions and imagine sudden and dramatic changes. In reality change is gradual and something that folks adjust to naturally. Seeing really is believing here, and as you adjust to your gender identity she will as well.
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Find supportive networks (LGBTQ youth groups, GSAs etc.). Express your gender however you wish to. You can choose to either come our to your mother again (this time perhaps try doing so with a mediator (counsellor, therapist, youth worker etc.) involved or try writing her a letter. Or you can choose not to do this.
It may not seem like it now but parents can change. I know a guy who got kicked out when he came out to his dad and just 2 years ago he got married and his dad was at his wedding calling him his son and fully supportive. My own parents reacted pretty poorly, but 5 years later my mom now calls me “he” and Lucas. I can’t promise that your mom will come around, but do allow this some time to breathe. Leave it on the back-burner, do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, and revisit the issue a little further down the road.
I don’t mind at all! I would be honoured! 8D